On September 9, 2014, Apple announced two products that will hopefully revolutionize the world, but not in the way Apple thinks they will.
The iPhone 6 came first. Much like its predecessor, it doesn’t offer anything that would make me throw away my old iPhone 4 and buy the new iPhone. Moreover, the iPhone 6 is also bendable, making it even less attractive. I really like my iPhone 4 despite its assembly by slave labor, and I understand Apple’s need to sell as many products as possible, but selling me a crappy product simply won’t do.
Second came the Apple Watch. After years of unadorned wrists, Apple now kindly asks me to shackle myself to another outlet for all the applications that are already prevalent on the ever more common phablets.
Some of you might remember the era that was abruptly ended by the original iPhone. This was a time when every vendor tried to minimize their mobile devices to the size of ring? I certainly remember that time and its unchallenged hero – the Nokia 5110. It had a battery that ran indefinitely, did not require updates, booted almost instantaneously and was so robust that it would probably break your wrist if you tried to bend it like you just did with your iPhone 6. I can’t wait for Nokia to issue a new device called the “Nokia Classic(TM)” that will offer just these great features. To hell with all the apps, and the chat functionality and the camera and everything else – I just want a phone.
Unfortunately, this hypothetical Nokia Classic will not be the next great thing. The great leap forward for Nokia will be to realize the screen-size issue. When Steve Jobs introduced the first iPhone, he didn’t actually say “look at this phone – it has so many features!” but rather “look at this tiny computer that can also make phone calls!”. Don’t get me wrong, tiny computers are great, but in order to work efficiently, you’d need need a much larger screen than the original 3.5″. This is the Apple Watch’s great realization – there’s room for small screens!
So, now imagine a Nokia Classic that has an Apple Watch for a screen. Imagine them reverting single-threaded processing to save on battery power and losing the touch-sensitive screen. A color display isn’t required either – there’s no reason why e-ink technology can’t be used on phone displays too. I don’t need this small gadget to play games or to watch movies, and I don’t need a built-in camera either. If I need any of these, I’ll just use a proper computer. In fact, I actually believe that the majority of the population doesn’t even need a computer and can manage perfectly well with a camera. If I need a camera, I can settle for a WiFi camera like Sony’s QX-100.
All that remains, therefore, is for Nokia to realize that they’re sitting on a goldmine and for Apple to stop pushing crappy products at crazy prices…